April 1, 2007

· im in ur kar, steelin ur peenis pumpz
· Trees cut down to reduce sexual activity at nude beach
· Titanic passenger sends letter from last port of call, predicts disatrous ending
· Day Clock, for the Approximate Time
· April 1 here, but hoax expert says times are hard
· Girl, 5, escapes unharmed after being choked by snake at B.C. pet expo
· '911 closed, everyone at doughnut shop'

April 2, 2007

· News.com's April Fools edition published
· Google TiSP (BETA)
· Google introduces Gmail Paper
· Panama co. says brews world's biggest cup of coffee
· Durex appeal for testers
· Thieves steal man's kitchen, including the sink
· EMI to sell entire music catalog without DRM, higher quality; Apple first to sell new downloads
· The MPAA piracy dishonor role
· Masturbating woman disturbs students
· Truckload of stolen potato chips found in house...amazingly, no mention of weed
· Chopper Romeo flies back into Woman's dreams
· Environmentalists want Easter kiwi hopping down trail

April 3, 2007

· Daily Reviews Summary 04/03/07 @ Mac OS Compatible
· Doggie yoga: Real downward facing dogs
· Man pulls van with nose

April 4, 2007

· Don't make me axe you again
· Washington's whiskey wets whistles again
· Bloomberg says he'll veto ban on metal bats in NYC high schools
· KFC worker, son allegedly stage robbery
· Ashes of 'Star Trek's' Scotty to be sent into space later this month
· Haunting jailhouse testimony
· RAF Top Guns stunned after being asked to think like Kamikaze pilots
· Apple debuts 8-core Mac Pro
· Zamboni driver skates by drunken driving law
· Ala. Woman on Horseback Charged With DUI
· Keith Richards: `I Snorted My Father'
· Jim from MajorGeeks has reproduced. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
· Giant Squid Appearing Off California Coast
· Part II: Keith Richards Snorting Of Dad Was A Joke
· Indianapolis zoo opens new shark "touching pond"
· RIP: Bob Clark, director/producer of "A Christmas Story" and "Porky's"
· The Great Tennessee Marijuana Cave
· Coyote makes sandwich run; stops at Chicago Quiznos

April 5, 2007

· Mayor chases rival's wife over sign
· Why the long face? Rio's obese treated like horses
· Train spills salad dressing in Calif. desert
· Fake beach draws crowds, lacks glitz

April 6, 2007

· Chicago woman sues for 'negligent dancing'
· Girl bites Hamburger
· Deputies put toe and tow together at crime scene, make arrest in case
· Donkey cart accident kills eight children, donkey survives
· Hatfield-McCoy feud blamed on ‘rage’ disease
· Texas passes "Dick Cheney Act," allowing blind hunters to use laser scopes

April 7, 2007

· I'll see your coyote in a deli and raise you a rabid fox in a Sonic restaurant
· Lawmaker wants baking soda to be sold behind counter
· Vonage: Appeals court says we can continue to sign up customers
· Michigan's "no iPod left behind" budget proposal
· Peeping Tom got away, left ladder behind
· Man caught with 'Easter grass'
· Bosnians raise monument to canned beef
· Shut Up and Enjoy the Ride
· Suit: Rat died in man's mouth
· Loose Lips Get Clipped

April 8, 2007

· Florida City to Give Homeless One-Way Bus Ticket Out of Town
· Woman pleads guilty to spiking trooper's beer with eye drops
· The Family-Friendly Easter Bomb Hunt
· Florida: Wal-Mart Fire Started So Thieves Could Steal Beer
· Plug it in, fire it up, Mr. President
· BB Pops Out Of Boy's Eye

April 9, 2007

· New York couple taking cab to Arizona retirement
· Pilot's cursing cancels flight
· Minn. woman to sell nearly all her belongings on EBay, wants a clean start
· Runaway mouse delays flight

April 10, 2007

· Gherkins ground 105-year-old
· Home Depot Clerk Scares Thief With UPC 'Gun' (FL)
· 100 Million iPods Sold
· Bag snatcher's gaffe

April 11, 2007

· Police: Serial car thief just wanted gas
· Teen in taxi stops runaway horse carriage
· Robbery Suspect Arrested When His Leg Falls Off
· Sausage roll blamed for Australian worker having day off
· FTC official: Let's imprison spyware distributors
· Husband frozen out
· Retired W.Va. pipe fitter comes armed with funeral plans; 'It's a recipe for cremation'
· Airboat flips, dumps tourists in gator-infested waters
· Part II: Ford apologises after joke on Bush blows up

April 12, 2007

· Anonymous group pays more than $3,000 to liberate 300 Maine lobsters
· 61-Year-Old Man Adopts 41-Year-Old Woman (Florida)
· Beijing Olympic officials want to ban poor Englissh

April 13, 2007

· Man cuts off tongue to please Hindu goddess
· Kansas City schools plan calls for 6,000 Apple Macs
· April 13, 1970: Houston, 'We've Got a Problem'

April 14, 2007

· Cockatoo mothers creme eggs
· German dog plagues neighbours with loud music
· Woman accused of spraying cop with breast milk

April 15, 2007

· Sneaky Parasite Attracts Rats to Cats
· Woman rescued from garbage pile in home
· Suds fill streets in Idaho, Alaska
· U.S. Homeland Security helps RCMP find pepperoni thiefs
· Lawsuit: Passenger Found in Jet Bathroom
· Nailgun injuries soar among U.S. weekend warriors
· Police seize horse

April 16, 2007

· Sea lion attacks 13-year-old surfing off Australian coast
· Apple's Final Cut Studio 2
· Apple's Final Cut Server

April 17, 2007

· Penguins start rockin' when stones arrive
· Trooper and horse crash, rider charged
· People could die from eating olives - Popeye rushed to hospital

April 18, 2007

· Free repairs to flammable toilets
· Brazil Nuts: For that healthy radioactive glow
· Rabbits block traffic in Hungary
· Angry soccer mom ditches daughter, gets ticket
· Fake snakes take the pee
· Man welding near gas can in ammo-filled garage blames firefighters for not saving his house

April 19, 2007

· Adjustable Breast Implants for the Indecisive
· Microsoft pays $180m to Iowa in suit
· Wisconsin approves free beer samples
· Man Sentenced Over Cat Rescue Shooting
· Fat tax for MPs

April 20, 2007

· Man exiting bar with beer bottle sues for tripping
· Surveyors look for source of clogged drain in Indiana, find dead seven-foot alligator
· Canada mum freezes eggs so daughter can have child
· Man brings donkey to testify in court
· Former police officer returns the highest blood-alcohol reading ever by a Washington state driver
· Phone saves Irish bag handler from unplanned NYC trip
· Winnie the Pooh causes bomb scare
· Bar of soap gives caffeine kick in the shower
· Escort agency launches virgin service for geeks
· 'Ghost yacht' found off Australia
· Fire licks big lollipop

April 21, 2007

· Mother sends teenage kids into store to shoplift, ditches them when the cops arrive
· Clerk buys mistake lottery ticket, wins $200,000
· Fruity cocktails count as health food, study finds

April 22, 2007

· Coming Soon: $8 Fee To Enter Manhattan
· RIP: LCDR Kevin J. Davis, United States Navy Blue Angels

April 23, 2007

· Teacher forced to stare at wall

April 24, 2007

· Coast Guard busts Panamanian cargo ship carrying 40,000 pounds of cocaine worth $600,000,000
· Man cuts off own penis in busy restaurant
· Captain America Arrested With Burrito In Pants
· Woman Gives Birth, Abandons Baby On San Francisco Sidewalk
· Spilled cheese blocks Chicago Skyway
· BMW Outfits Boeing 787 Cabin For Fictitious Tycoon
· Wisconsin Man Calls 911 About Lap Dance
· Vermont pushes bid to impeach Bush
· Rival slices Branson from Bond film
· Soldier: Honor our troops like Va. Tech dead
· Bar lets diners tipple from IV tubes
· Mystery shoe fits but no happy ending for Florida driver
· Prehistoric Crocodile Replica Snatched From Display
· Part II: Relatives of missing Australian yachtsmen fear they have been kidnapped

April 25, 2007

· Man with potent pot odor seeks permit
· Man beats bookmakers by becoming 100
· Drunken man parks horse in bank foyer
· Kryptonite discovered on Earth,, Superman keeps well away from Serbia
· Fla. Woman Dies After Camel Sits on Her

April 26, 2007

· Police: Thief tries to trade stolen Jeep back to dealer
· Mystery fossil turns out to be giant fungus
· Cameroon threatens to jail urine drinkers
· Halo Patch released
· Man offers to cook and mail you a hotdog for a dollar
· Man lives in woods - for 28 years

April 27, 2007

· Flaming hotweiler
· Nude Man in High Heels Causes Lockdown
· Florida police track down robbery suspect after he left AK-47 receipt at scene

April 28, 2007

· Woman ‘tricked into sex’ by penis cream treatment
· Grandma finds condom in Happy Meal
· Quake brings WWII PT boat up from ocean floor

April 29, 2007

· Pilot spots 'UFO' over Guernsey
· Texas toddler at day care hands teacher bag of cocaine, police investigate
· Thief betrays himself to get free beer
· Man who admitted feeding puppy to snake jailed
· Feds bust "Greenhound"; fake tour buses smuggled pot and money between Tucson and Detroit
· Two Dead in Kansas City Mall Shooting
· Woman breaks "green" lightbulb, pays $2,000 to have it cleaned up

April 30, 2007

· Jagger's life too 'boring' for words
· UK funeral home used human ashes to grit icy walkways

May 1, 2007

· Salvation: Just click and confess