August 1, 2007

· Boy Hurt in Car Crash Wins $100K by Suing Parents
· Call the police! Hitler and FDR are naked!
· Guantanamo inmate fighting against release, says cell is better than freedom
· Humptastic: Dog Ice Cream Goes By The Name of Wanko
· Peeping Tom crashes through ceiling while spying on naked girl

August 2, 2007

· Sacramento: Service Dog Tribute Statue Must Appear "Neutered"
· Sweaty man electrocuted by computer
· San Diego man committs murder, brags about it at a baby shower
· US Soldiers to Get Brain Microchipped to Measure Vitals
· Virgin America's In-Flight, Ethernet, USB , 110v Power and Doom

August 3, 2007

· Microsoft blames family for infant Xbox death
· Florida: Odour leads agents to illegal dung depot
· Japanese chair calls out the obese
· Colorado Mayor Moonlights as Bouncer at Strip Club
· Dog Pees On Computer Server Rack And Shuts Down Business

August 4, 2007

· Florida: Not the best t-shirt when being arrested for DUI
· Math used in new climate change assessment
· Cops say thief had 21 deodorant sticks
· First treatment centre for nail biters

August 5, 2007

· Man fined for claiming orgasm at dentist
· Florida: State Rep. Just 'Playing Along' In Sex Sting
· Police Chief arrested for stealing beer from Fire Department
· Prisoner joined by his bull

August 6, 2007

· That's not the Beast of Dartmoor... it's my pet dog
· Florida: Woman backs over man teaching her how to drive
· While men have sex on the brain, women have it more in the nose
· Russian region declares war on watermelon 'fakes'

August 7, 2007

· Woman mistakenly sells ceramic turtle with ashes of husband's previous wife at yard sale
· Pencil removed from woman's head after 55 years
· Atlanta car dealer kills 2 workers over demands for raises

August 8, 2007

· S.C. Teen Falls 6 Stories, Walks Away
· Mourners crash like 'dominoes' after cop stops hearse
· Minnesota Cops Seek 'Professionals' Who Removed Man's Testicles

August 9, 2007

· Storm in a teacup
· Crocodile falls 12 floors in escape bid
· Florida: Town bans cowboy boots for police after slippery soles cause car crash
· Maryland gas station burglars tracked by trail of candy wrappers
· Apple's Mac Set to Soar

August 10, 2007

· Giant Lego man found in Dutch sea
· Farmer attacks police with muck spreader
· Builder does DIY castration
· Priest Accused of Jogging Naked

August 11, 2007

· Poachers accidentally flag their presence
· Woman kills raccoon with her bare hands
· Firm sees big impact from enlarging condoms

August 12, 2007

· Wienermobile Ticketed for Illegal Parking in Downtown Chicago
· Man says hold the cheese, claims McDonald's didn't, sues for $10 million
· Man is accused of offering the judge $5,000 to kill prosecutor

August 13, 2007

· Robber leaves gun on counter, clerk grabs it
· Two arrested in alleged dragging of girl behind van at Christian boot camp
· Bush on track to become the vacation president

August 14, 2007

· *
· Japanese biker fails to notice missing leg
· Florida: Alleged robber shoots accomplice in eye
· Husband pulls over his deputy wife twice
· A Place For Men to Park Their Manhood

August 15, 2007

· If you are going to get killed by lightning, a funeral is as good a place as any
· Nail in the head no excuse for traffic infractions
· Australian magazine offers new breasts as top prize
· Man spends seven days stuck in a tree in a crocodile-infested swamp.
· Criminal Orders Reprisals using Pig Latin, Surprised When Police Crack the Code

August 16, 2007

· Horse saves farmer from raging cow
· Appeal to burglars' bellies backfires
· Florida: Suspected DUI Driver Jumps From Car, Flees With Beer In Hand
· Mulch at school playground spontaneously combusts
· Driver seeking a brake job crashes into shop
· "Sorry we ate your folks"

August 17, 2007

· Russians get day off to procreate, then win prizes
· Rent-a-duck scheme is a hit
· Stephen King mistaken for vandal

August 18, 2007

· Man steals bus to pick up driver's license
· Diver is young fisherman's catch of the day
· 'Dead' mum visits son at work
· Rape suspect nabbed after he sends his photo from victim's cell

August 19, 2007

· Councilor: Ship Stray Dogs to Korea
· Man attempts robbery wearing a mop on his head

August 20, 2007

· 2 Swimmers Attacked by 50-pound Rabid Beaver
· Florida: Woman arrested getting into a vehicle AFTER an accident in order to sue police department
· Sex video inspires virginity testing plan
· Fugitive from Florida found swimming in Hudson
· Is Warner Bros. Filming Audiences In An Attempt To Stop Piracy?

August 21, 2007

· Death as camel tries to hump woman
· Arm-wrestling game recalled in Japan after arms are broken
· Man pretends to be senior engineer with airline, spends twelve months repairing aircraft
· Clench your teeth for tunes, Japan researchers say

August 22, 2007

· Boy tries to cool XBox 360 by submerging it in water, while still plugged in
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· Bush to invoke Vietnam in arguing against Iraq pullout

August 23, 2007

· Inmate sues jail after injury in toilet collapse
· Florida: School Bus Driver Gets Lost, Takes Elem. Students On 60-Mile Detour
· Man swims after beer bong, goes missing for hours
· Intoxicated Campers Arrested For Trying To Ride Wild Ponies and Tackle Deer

August 24, 2007

· Croatian town plans potato park
· UK: 'Thought police' to target drinkers
· Russia says Georgia suffers "hallucinations" in border violation dispute
· Excuse me, I'd like to buy your B-52

August 25, 2007

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· Belching moose add to global warming
· Family forced to send murdered son to morgue in a taxi after police no-show
· Rap for sex-swap brothers

August 26, 2007

· Latest Japanese geek fetish? One-eyed virginal maid mummies
· Suspected Peeping Tom Fit to Be Tied

August 27, 2007

· Mattel sues 'China Barbie' porn site over trademark
· To help Beijing's Olympic cleanup, farmers try to rid the capital of flies
· Blundering diplomats destroy $10m whale fossil

August 28, 2007

· Man killed by pet spider, eaten by pet lizards, then hollowed out by pet termites.
· Greek man saves home and neighborhood using his homemade wine to fight fire
· Man surprised by shark, stabs own arm with harpoon

August 29, 2007

· Prison inmates take out contract on sniffer dog's life
· Kangaroo Injured In Low-Speed Chase Through Alps
· Researchers Hope Creatures From Black Lagoon Can Help Fight Cancer

August 30, 2007

· Man Drives Off With Dead Motorcyclist in Rear Window
· Florida: Man Gives Steroids to 13-Year-Old Roller-Skating Son

August 31, 2007

· Man Chokes Woman, Apologizes, Offers Ride Home
· Chinese Mosquito-Repellant Cell Phones Deemed "Useless"