September 1, 2007

· Crashed pilot tapes scalp back on and treks two hours for help
· Ricky Bobby Baby Jesus becomes member of canine foreign counterterrorism force

September 2, 2007

· Gatwick Airport cops bought colleagues doughnuts when they left guns unattended
· Two are arrested in broccoli head case
· Angry Italians to go on national pasta strike

September 3, 2007

· Florida: Man smoking while on oxygen causes explosion and fire
· Bison gores backpacker on California's Catalina Island

September 4, 2007

· Florida: Grenade-Shaped Belt Buckle Delays Cruise Ship
· Man who injured his back travels hundreds of miles back home in a coffin
· 50-year old man calls police when 29-year old woman pressures him for sex

September 5, 2007

· Sprawling communal spider web engulfs North Texas park trail
· Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky god

September 6, 2007

· RIP: Luciano Pavarotti
· Doctor Warns Consumers of Popcorn Fumes

September 7, 2007

· Hapless Robbers Run Into A Police Dog Training Exercise
· Man arrested for Cheetos assault
· Man charged with ransoming mother's cat
· Leech invasion makes residents see red

September 8, 2007

· China reports sighting of "extinct" Baiji dolphin
· Fans descend on Anthrax Castle for third Monty Python Day

September 9, 2007

· Chinese doctors discover 26 sewing needles embedded in woman's body

September 10, 2007

· iTuner released for iPhone
· Synagogue seats go for $1.8M at auction

September 11, 2007

· Man Arrested For Online Pot Sale
· Teen clinging to cliff put on hold
· Jobs Offers Apple Lisa Early Adopters Store Credit
· Fake firefighter showed up at disasters
· Judge rules carpenter can work in the nude
· Florida: Woman Arrested for Pouring Boiling Water on Sleeping Boyfriend
· Mugger picks on blind judo champ
· Florida: Boys killing cockroaches set fire to home

September 12, 2007

· Bank Robber Uses Own Check in Robbery
· Bee sting burst breast implant

September 13, 2007

· Florida: Boy Killed Parents, Didn't Want To 'Disappoint' Them Anymore
· Man injects woman with his own blood in a scheme to win her affections

September 14, 2007

· Parents Jailed For Making Children Wear Shock Collars
· Prisoners riot over sausage
· Florida: Murder-Suicide includes 30 goats, seven dogs, a donkey and a miniature horse

September 15, 2007

· aMSN
· Two small apps that might be nice
· Man pulls car with nose
· British soldiers enjoy better living quarters in Afghanistan than they do back home
· Sick man fined for going to work

September 16, 2007

· Firefighters rescue donkey trapped in well
· Florida: Teen emerges from ocean with shark locked onto abdomen

September 17, 2007

· Prunes force evacuation of Georgia post office
· "Dead" man wakes up under autopsy knife
· Death defying school run
· Teen assisting police in sister's murder investigation, found dead
· Pot-smoking cows could stop mad-cow-disease, maybe
· Hedgehog survives cycle in washing machine

September 18, 2007

· 12-foot gator bites off man's arm; doctors try to reattach
· Navy boob jobs squeeze?
· Florida: Two men wound endangered manatee, post video on MySpace

September 19, 2007

· Six-year-old student runs first-grade "sex club" at Australian primary school
· Villagers in Peru struck by mysterious illness after meteorite crashes to Earth

September 20, 2007

· Pied Pipers gather to drive out Spain’s plague of voles
· Man Nearly Dies After Putting Pet Rattlesnake Down Throat
· Mystery Goo Seeping Into San Francisco Basements

September 21, 2007

· Man tries to tow his 35-foot fishing vessel with a 9-foot inflatable boat
· Federal prosecutor from Florida arrested after flying to Detroit for arranged sex with 5-year-old

September 22, 2007

· Woman throws 6-month-old baby at police officers
· SpongeBob SquarePants Football Helps Save Boat
· Des Moines police investigate attack by onion

September 23, 2007

· WWII documentary's brief profanity puts stations in conflict
· S.C. mom scoops al-Qaida with its videos
· Man hides sex toys in the wurst way...
· Army Major fined £2,500 for sexually assaulting a woman with a grape

September 24, 2007

· Chinese man dies after 3-day Internet gaming bing
· Plaque Placed in Baseball Park Honoring Murderer
· U.K. man peed on dying woman
· Florida: Teachers Accused of Making Older Kids Beat Up Younger Students

September 25, 2007

· Dominatrix Submits To City's Wishes
· Python thrown at Taco Bell worker
· How to Get Banned From K-Mart

September 26, 2007

· Man saves own life when his car crashes into a tree as he chokes on an onion ring

September 27, 2007

· Nuclear missile base on eBay
· Denver shelter worker accused of sex with dog
· Hospital Lab Worker Bit Boy, Parents Say

September 28, 2007

· Tourists are being lured to Cornwall by a beach that doesn’t exist.
· Drunk African 5-year-old boy passes out on sidewalk
· N.J. Cops Crack Down On Middle School Jaywalkers
· Florida: Thieves use backhoe to steal ATM
· Florida: For Dwntwn logo, the O's had to go
· Florida: Computerized tools fixe school buses' top speed at 57
· Florida: Road Warns Motorists Of 'Scohol' Zone

September 29, 2007

· Florida: Employee of reptile store learns how not to clean a rattlesnake's cage
· Florida: Vet extracts 7-inch toy rubber lizard from 12-inch real lizard
· Authorities: Smuggling rings defrauded Mich. bottle deposit fund
· English girl releases a balloon that reaches CHINA
· Japanese researchers succeed in producing see-through frogs

September 30, 2007

· Firearms shops stocking pink rifles and shotguns to encourage girls to get into shooting.
· Angry Man Accused of Sawing Home in Half
· "Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids
· Florida: Two injured in SUV vs. steamroller