July 1, 2009

· Gelato Italiano ice-cream advert banned over seductive nun
· Guinness offers drinkers chance to win space flight

July 2, 2009

· TV fire image has viewer calling for help
· Airstrip: Nude Jet Passenger Causes Havoc
· Midget wrestlers 'drugged to death by female robbers'
· What are these hideous sewer flesh blobs?

July 3, 2009

· Man with two penises removes one at request of his girlfriend
· Microsoft drops vomiting ad after complaints
· Illinois cabbie uses deodorant to disarm attacker
· Feds seize Madoff penthouse, force wife to move out and leave possessions behind
· Woman, 20, pregnant again by boy, 14
· Boise woman and her half-brother arrested, charged with incest
· Saddam said he had WMDs out of fear of Iran
· Judge posts explicit photos, including half-dressed man "cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal"

July 4, 2009

· Fireworks: 10 explosive science facts plus bonus slideshow
· Anti-paparazzi device flashes lewd photographers right back
· Blind man has sight restored by having tooth implanted in his eye
· Need cash? Pledge your soul for collateral

July 5, 2009

· RIP: Former Titans quarterback Steve McNair found murdered
· Bikini introduced 63 years ago today
· North America's sexiest beaches
· Afghanistan Looks to Tourism for Economic Boost
· Personal details of new UK spy chief on Facebook

July 6, 2009

· Teen tried to sell nude pictures of his mom
· Thailand cracks down on elephant begging
· Malaysian authorities seize Viagra-laced coffee

July 7, 2009

· Man strips to underwear for break-in
· Swiss order 'no naked hiking' signs
· Exam students can 'phone a friend'
· Passenger fixes faulty airliner
· Billboard Bleeds When It Rains
· World’s strongest vagina breaks own record lifting 14 kilos
· Man Accused of Robbing Neighbor After Finding Him Dead
· 5 Theme Park Rides That Pushed the Limits of Common Sense

July 8, 2009

· RIP: Oscar Mayer dead at 95
· High and dry: Boat ends up grounded on rocks during yacht race
· Federal Web sites knocked out by cyber attack
· The prom girls who really dolled themselves up... by arriving as Barbies in boxes

July 9, 2009

· Man dies after falling into chocolate vat
· Crawling turtles close down runway at JFK airport
· Goat rescued from tree
· Slim Jim Shortage in Effect
· 'Pool got my daughter pregnant'

July 10, 2009

· Sears puts out Christmas gear
· Florida Friday: Woman arrested for battery after poking boyfriend in groin with her sex toy
· Florida Friday: Man Nabbed in Illegal Silicone Operation
· Florida Friday: Orlando Among Worst On Best Driver List
· Florida Friday: Work involving blow torch sets 2 trailers on fire, one containing fertilizer and pesticide
· Florida Friday: man calls police to remove grenade from truck toolbox
· Almanac editor apologizes for wet summer; more to come

July 11, 2009

· Couple Receives Warning For Nude Sunbathing In Church Cemetery

July 12, 2009

· Man skateboards into cop car
· Afterbirth: It's What's For Dinner
· Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole
· Elephant buttock moisturiser a success

July 13, 2009

· Farm fun as 10000 attend Redneck Games
· Bank robber tries to hitch ride with cop
· School tells children of their "right" to "an orgasm a day"

July 14, 2009

· 'Nazi guard' Demjanjuk charged with 27,900 counts of being an accessory to murder
· Southwest jet makes landing with football-sized hole
· The Top 10 Grossest Ice Creams!

July 15, 2009

· Air launch of bride’s bouquet crashes aircraft
· KKK man's Israeli girlfriend gave him up
· Soldier: Obama not U.S. born, can't send me to Afghanistan
· Man tries to fix airbed, blows up apartment
· Tall body's legs cut off to fit casket
· Monster fish killed after terrorising swimmers at Swiss lake - and served for dinner

July 16, 2009

· Judge: State law barring underage drinking is unconstitutional
· Boy survives 8-mile river ride on toy truck
· Schoolgirl angler nets record catch that's twice her size and weighs 193 pounds
· 10 Odd Things you can buy from Amazon
· Man 'broke into house and had sex with dog'
· Rubik's Cube inventor's new 360 puzzle

July 17, 2009

· Pa. woman warned about gator finds pot lab instead
· Goat penis bacteria adds to food safety scare
· Study warns of health risk in playing with beach sand
· Kids TV praises Gaza mom's suicide bombing
· Man calls 911 of intent to rob bank
· 6-year-old tees up SpongeBob golf ball and hits 85-yard shot for first hole-in-one
· Swedish man attacked by tattooed girl gang
· Never mind swine flu, these Caribbean pigs are in the swim
· Florida Friday: Pig tased, taken into custody
· Florida Friday: Forgetful robber leaves behind beer in hold-up
· Florida Friday: Bones lead to mystery Miami graveyard from 1900s

July 18, 2009

· Company converts onion juice to electricity
· Jobless benefits site adds insult to injury
· California officer admits to sexual assault while on duty
· Ax-wielding arson suspect: Satan was trying to kill me
· Man Mistakenly Hits Gas, Kills Wife, Mother-in-law
· 5-legged puppy fetches $4k
· Florida: Man bitten by pygmy rattlesnake while shopping for a fern at Walmart, saved by elderly greeter.

July 19, 2009

· Public Enemy No. 1 arrested when he came to courthouse to get married
· "Institute will immerse students in volcano"
· Apple sued over shrink-wrapped Mafia death threats
· Just when you thought it was safe … giant squid terrorise Californian coast
· Chief justice’s husband charged at alcohol party
· America's 10 Cushiest Prisons
· Police: Nurse shot ex-husband in groin to release 'demons'
· 9-Month-Old Had Blood-Alcohol Level Four Times Legal Limit

July 20, 2009

· The parrots who play 'cat and mouse' with a dog and a horse
· Shanks for the advice: White-collar crooks learn jail survival from ex-con

July 21, 2009

· Tasered man burst into flames
· Florida: Grandchildren left in car while woman gambled

July 22, 2009

· Woman Found Dead in Machine at McDonald's Food Processing Plant
· Theft ends in torn genitals
· Sea lion dies of heart failure after marathon mating session at German zoo
· Worker commits suicide after losing secret prototype iPhone

July 23, 2009

· PETA protests National Hot Dog Day
· Yellowstone visitor gored by bison
· Land mine generously given to charity
· Women wanted for chocolate experiments
· Girl hit by plummeting tortoise
· World's first camel chocolate
· Japan train workers check grins with smile meter
· Taxpayer funded 'man cave' at N.Y. Capitol

July 24, 2009

· R.I.P. John S. Barry, Mastermind of WD-40
· Group claims the Wienermobile broke law in Hawaii
· Nude couple's outdoor sex session cut short by lightning bolt
· Gas Station Sushi in Gourmet Magazine
· Florida: $70,000 Worth Of Beer Stolen
· Florida: Snakes on a plane? Shark on a train!
· Florida: Mayor defends firing manager after learning his wife is a porn actress

July 25, 2009

· Jackson's hair to be turned into diamonds
· Skype singled out as threat to Russia's security

July 26, 2009

· Concubines making a comeback in China
· Last British WW1 veteran dies

July 27, 2009

· Love in 2-D
· Every word except "exit" spelled wrong on Wisconsin highway sign
· Bikini-clad woman accused of carjacking in Miss.
· Breakout fuels killer chipmunk concerns
· 19 arrested over Canary bird fighting ring
· Ice work if you can get it - a PhD in figure skating
· Man sets fire to home because his wife was late making him lunch
· Hairdresser Offers Services to Officer As Bribe
· Drunk stops at police station for directions
· Microchips to trace route of garbage

July 28, 2009

· DIY Motorcycle Seat
· Woman, 28, told to prove age to buy pizza-cutter
· Drunk drives to state trooper station mistaking it for a hotel.
· Men accused of stealing water for water slide

July 29, 2009

· Robber told to leave - so he did
· 7-year-old takes car to avoid going church

July 30, 2009

· Florida: Deputy duped by fake police lights, arrests driver
· Mum attacked by killer chipmunk
· Pregnant again, the mother whose 13 other babies were taken into care vows to have more
· Drive-through bank teller stalls, helps customer being held against her will

July 31, 2009

· Tiger escapes magic act, ends up on Vegas streets
· Woman finds 'stolen' Audi in neighbor's garage