August 1, 2009

· Lawyer charged with drugs in courthouse
· Per pound, lobster now less expensive than hot dogs

August 2, 2009

· Organizers plan Michael Vick 'celebration' in Newport News
· Bank teller foils holdup, nabs suspect — loses job
· Teen passenger in speeding car sues driver who was hit
· Turkey demolition goes wrong
· Autistic Genius Hacked Military Computers in Search of Alien
· Members of Pa. National Guard miss active-duty stipends because of budget impasse

August 3, 2009

· Harvard trademarking everyday phrases
· Deli Thief Caught Chewing The Evidence
· Ashes urn shaped like a human head

August 4, 2009

· Domino's Pizza giving out free mini lava cakes on Obama's birthday.
· Texas Constable drunk and pulling people over
· Woman violates parole while appearing on TV's Bridezillas
· "Texas will soon make sure that competent lawyers handle death-row appeals"

August 5, 2009

· Calif. Ordered to Get Rid of 40,000 Inmates
· Man charged with DUI on lawnmower during beer run

August 6, 2009

· Ontario recycling center finds human foot
· Driver fights DWI charge with obesity defense
· "M&M Man" kidnapped from gas station

August 7, 2009

· R.I.P.: Director John Hughes
· Brothers Who Survived Tiger Attack Arrested in San Francisco
· A Walking Helmet is a Good Helmet
· 'Hero' Greek woman sets fire to drunken Briton's genitals
· Deer force Sydney school lockdown

August 8, 2009

· Giant sperm-shaped furniture to heal broken hearts
· Eunuchs begin fight for Pakistan rights

August 9, 2009

· Cab driver being choked crashes into church with people locked inside
· Inmate Hid Gun in His Fat, Jail Says
· 47 trapped on 'nightmare' flight to the Twin Cities

August 10, 2009

· Gang attacks teenager with 4ft python
· Pet cat eaten by 13ft python
· Florida: Church Thwarts Alleged Robber During Service
· False Plane Crash Report Costs Man 30k
· Florida: Woman duped into changing middle aged man's diapers

August 11, 2009

· Man steals 3-year-old's purse
· Hillary Clinton: I'm secretary of state, not Bill
· Harvard launches menswear range
· Sheep abseils down electricity cable after snagging his horn

August 12, 2009

· Man killed by shards of glass after hurling girlfriend through shop window
· Brazil Crime Show Host May Have Ordered Killings to Boost Ratings
· 37-inch flat screen TV for $100 is really an oven door
· Give bees a booster: Gardeners urged to leave out energy drinks for exhausted bees

August 13, 2009

· Teen tried to swap child porn for car
· Lockerbie bomber 'to be released'
· 6-foot-7-inch, 250-pound Man Accused Of Ringing Calif. Doorbells In The Nude
· Cyclist arrested for giving alligator a shoulder ride

August 14, 2009

· Gary, Ind. paid Joe Jackson to come to son's memorial
· Wife receives $17,700 elk hunting permit as a gift
· Grocery store owner steals customer's $10,000 lottery ticket
· Device Lets Blind "See" with Their Tongues

August 15, 2009

· Husband jumps in river to escape nagging
· Family sues Honda for injuries sustained during run-in with tornado
· University adds grade worse than F
· You're Bob Dylan? NJ police want to see some ID
· Florida: Woman Accused Of Stealing Bacon From Work

August 16, 2009

· Motorist gets a lift in Sturgeon Bay
· Sex Offender Busted By Burglars
· Memory champs meet for UK contest

August 17, 2009

· Doing shots with Mickey Mouse: Is Epcot tequila bar a good idea?
· Florida: Patient bites off doctor's fingertip
· Go-Carts Stolen, Raced Down Interstate 70 in Missouri
· Texas public schools required to teach Bible this year
· Lemon-head aliens 'tried to abduct us'
· New battery could change world, one house at a time
· Is this New Zealand's dumbest criminal?
· Judge on trial for refusing to keep court open after 5pm to hear last-minute death row appeal

August 18, 2009

· Bizarre Hindu Transvestite Cult spreading in India
· Woman sues grocery store 'after being hit by falling pineapple'
· Man arrested for drive-by feces attack
· Student drowns while testing concrete canoe
· Justice Scalia says there’s nothing unconstitutional about executing the innocent

August 19, 2009

· Mexico Unveils Swine Flu Statue
· Florida: Man Calls 911 Over Hidden Alcohol
· Man assaults family when UNO game goes bad, police say
· Men ordered to wear skirts instead of pants on Sundays to avoid offending God
· Police: Man Drove Snowmobile Under the Influence
· Chinese 'specialty cook' trafficking ring raided

August 20, 2009

· Eternal rest above Marilyn Monroe? Bid on it
· Diver's extraordinary encounter with 50ft humpback whale
· Police looking for man who licked woman's foot at Whole Foods Market

August 21, 2009

· Mexico enacts 'personal use' drug law
· TV station tries to hypnotise viewers
· After being stabbed by runaway cow, woman's boob job saved by Pink

August 22, 2009

· Lucky the turtle gets new legs made of furniture sliders
· Florida: Pink-Clad Pooch Stolen from Gay Bar by Man With Britney Tattoo
· 51 operations turns a mother of three into Queen Nefertiti

August 23, 2009

· Officer Pretended To Be Twin For Sex
· Conn. police arrest Speedo-wearing robbery suspect
· Fake Fliers Promise 'Free Food And Beer' At Mayoral Candidate Event

August 24, 2009

· Lockerbie bomber: Letter from FBI director Robert Mueller to Scotland's Justice Secretary
· Meth Lab Unveiled In Santa Claus
· Man rapes teen, steals painting of the Virgin Mary from church to fund her abortion
· Brick Wielding Grandpa Attacks Red-light Runners
· Man stuck to toilet seat in Cairns shopping centre

August 25, 2009

· Police blotter: Dragonfly shooter shoots friend
· Bee attack the 3rd in 5 days in Phoenix
· Disagreement about shoe tying leads to fight, slashing
· Feuding families cause riot of about 150 in Ala.

August 26, 2009

· Man catches piranha while fishing in Indiana river
· Missouri bans wrong plastic from rivers
· S.C. robbery suspect dies after painting his face
· Peruvian police seize cocaine sewn inside live turkeys
· Crouching tufty, hidden dragon: The amazing Kung Fu squirrels (w/ pics)

August 27, 2009

· RIP: Dominick Dunne dies at 83
· Slim Jim - What's in It?

August 28, 2009

· Apple releases Mac OS X 10.6 Snow Leopard

August 29, 2009

· Sport fishermen's waste fouling shellfish harvest
· Man saddled with drink-riding conviction

August 30, 2009

· Cows 'Commit Suicide' Off Swiss Cliff
· French beach toxic enough to kill a horse

August 31, 2009

· Man pays £231,000 for ram with 'strong loin'