October 1, 2009

· Senior citizens offered brothel discount

October 3, 2009

· Couple Have Sex in Cop Car While Being Taken to Jail
· Man arrested with marijuana at courthouse metal detector

October 4, 2009

· Today is International Pickle Day

October 5, 2009

· Kentucky loses world championship of coon hunting
· 44 tons of rotting meat stink up South Dakota town
· 10 Manliest Names Ever

October 6, 2009

· Would-Be Burglars Foiled By Billiard Balls
· Egyptian lawmakers want to ban fake hymen
· Chinese media tempted by fantasy of women-only Swedish town

October 7, 2009

· Pirates hit navy ship 'in error'

October 8, 2009

· How Fruit Flies Execute In-Flight Turns
· Michael Vick to star in his own television series
· Drunk passenger faces $63.000 bill after he forces plane to turn back
· UCD Spends $150,000 To Study... Duct Tape?

October 9, 2009

· Man charged in harmonica attack
· One gay man, two lesbians, a three-legged cat and a poisoned curry plot
· Florida Friday: No jail time over hot sauce incident
· Florida Friday: Woman found under 8 feet of trash, in her own home

October 10, 2009

· Australia Deputy PM's accent baffles American schoolkids
· Stolen lung returned
· Man misses birth of his child after fondling nurse
· Florida: Survey: Miami Full of Hot, Dumb People
· Florida: Guy accidentally shoots self in rear

October 11, 2009

· Florida: Man Kills Pet Rat After Fight Over Last Cigarette

October 12, 2009

· Leaner Times at Harvard: No Cookies

October 14, 2009

· Portland man gets probation after stabbing ex-girlfriend's pet fish
· Woman Gored After Trying To Pet Buck Mule Deer

October 15, 2009

· Stripper gets probation for assault with stiletto heel
· Bible Quoting Passenger Causes Delta Plane Diversion

October 16, 2009

· Florida Friday: Teen turns burrito into deadly weapon, cops say
· Florida Friday: Wendy's Employee Reprimanded for Calling 911 After Poisoning

October 17, 2009

· Texas man, 83, opens fire on his son for refusing to stop drumming
· Man says cat stolen, chlorine dumped in fish tank
· NJ Assembly candidate sells sex toys

October 18, 2009

· Bear walks into store, goes straight for beer cooler

October 19, 2009

· Firefighter suspended for refusing to peel American flag sticker from locker
· Florida: Ex-Girlfriend Attacked With Hair Dryer
· Man fined for 'one finger' steering while using two mobile phones
· Wheelchair-bound man left halfway up mountain
· Burning bunnies helps keep people warm and cozy

October 20, 2009

· "Children's chief no patsy - Balls"
· Children playing in woods find decomposed body on trampoline
· Chase ends, driver run over by own vehicle
· Apple releases new iMac, MacBook, Mac mini and Magic Mouse

October 21, 2009

· Man Stabs Son with Corkscrew over Toilet Dispute
· Police investigate farm which promotes itself as a destination for sex with farm animals

October 22, 2009

· Cops: Man grabs football, bites neighbor on mouth

October 23, 2009

· Flight from San Diego to Minneapolis misses destination airport by 150 miles, pilots 'distracted'
· Ambulances start charging extra for obese patients
· Chinese 'cat-girl' baffles doctors
· Florida Friday: 'Zonkey' attacks Bay area man
· Florida Friday: Michael Jordan's Son Creating $3-Million Shoe Controversy At UCF
· Florida Friday: ''Cooterrific" event starts today

October 24, 2009

· Farmers sell wives to pay debts in rural India

October 25, 2009

· Scientists study possible health benefits of LSD and ecstacy
· Man Upset Over Gay Naked Barn Dance
· Lebanese to Israel: Hands off our hummus!

October 26, 2009

· Police not allowed to say 'Evenin' all' any more

October 27, 2009

· Man Spends $50,000 to Recreate a First-Class Pan Am Cabin in His Garage
· Police encourage attendees at Phish Festival to refrain from smoking pot.

October 28, 2009

· Adult phoneline accidentally printed on school shirts
· Corpse left on police roof for two years

October 29, 2009

· A not-so-brilliant disguise
· Barbie Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken Doll
· Man loses testicle after random, vicious kick by woman

October 30, 2009

· Pay problem parents not to breed - mayor
· Somali centenarian weds 17-year-old
· Worried Iran pilot asks passengers to pray

October 31, 2009

· Southwest kicks mom, cranky kid off flight
· Hundreds of coconuts mailed to postmaster general in effort to prevent office closing