November 1, 2009

· Naked cheat gets frozen out
· Man abandoned in ambulance for over five hours after driver forgot about him
· Florida: School Employee Accused Of Forcing Student To Eat Pizza

November 2, 2009

· Civilian passenger in air force display plane accidentally activates ejector seat during mid-air maneuver.

November 3, 2009

· Japanese fishing trawler sunk by giant jellyfish
· Thieves steal 70 cases of brat pizza

November 4, 2009

· Rich guy dislikes poor people, wants local kids to "lose sleep" over plan to shut library
· Man says he stabbed himself because he didn't want to work
· Court orders problem child to forfeit Wii, will return it if he behaves

November 5, 2009

· Mom gets jail time after letting teen ride in cardboard box atop van

November 6, 2009

· Florida Friday: Hoax python trapper facing serious charges
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· Florida Friday: Man Calls 911 to Report His Marijuana Stash Stolen , Doesn't Know His Address
· Florida Friday: Baby found alive in box under sitter's bed
· Florida Friday: Letter carrier arrested after being found slumped over the wheel of his mail truck

November 7, 2009

· Woman passes driver's exam on 950th try
· Mother's Grave Vandalized After Daughter Refuses Date

November 8, 2009

· University of Illinois professor gets $3.1 million grant to switch sexes on papayas
· Solo-Operable Seesaw
· Prized mushroom collection returns to China

November 9, 2009

· New Study Says American Cities Are on the Verge of a Rat Invasion
· Man steals 72 cans of Red Bull
· Fire warnings over cooking while intoxicated
· Working mom takes down meth ring
· Florida: Man reaches for dog, gets bitten by alligator

November 10, 2009

· Man places ad on auction site offering his sexual services to lesbian women wishing to become pregnant
· Unlucky buck: Deer loses head-butt with lawn ornament
· Bunnies get tailor-made penis transplants
· Help wanted: Denali needs a dog musher
· 15-yr-old schoolgirl suspended for shaving her head to raise money for cancer research
· Accidental 911 Call Leads to Yukon Drug Bust

November 11, 2009

· Navajo Code Talkers break silence for Veterans Day
· Alabama high school threatens to cancel prom if lesbian attends
· 'Play spin the bottle or I'll shoot you'
· Count the Cost of Freedom
· It's Darth Pray-der

November 12, 2009

· Suspect Leaves Nose Behind in Tuscumbia Robbery
· Japanese lawmakers established limit on waistlines: 33.5 inches for men and 35.4 inches for women.
· "Stripper-mobile" Proves Every Las Vegas Stereotype Correct

November 13, 2009

· Spanish region starts campaign to help children discover 'self-pleasure'

November 14, 2009

· Woman mistakes officer for Sonic waiter, faces DUI
· When a llama attacks! "... he grabbed my leg with his mouth and went to jerking on me."

November 15, 2009

· Airport rules changed after Ron Paul aide detained
· Florida: Teacher threatens to shoot students and kill a principal

November 16, 2009

· Hand puppets are latest victims of H1N1 flu
· Booze prospectors set to drill for Scotch whisky in the Antarctic

November 17, 2009

· Navy May Test Live Bombs In Central Florida

November 18, 2009

· Robbers heat up bottle for crying baby
· Bacon-Flavored Envelopes: Your Bills Will Now Make You Poor and Fat
· French hamster hotel lets guests live like rodents
· Mail Carrier found Drunk, Inside a Residence
· High rider trims his hedge
· Police: Would-be ninja impaled by metal fence
· Political party cops to penis stickers
· British Man Loves His Bionic Bowels
· Dad spoke only Klingon to child for three years

November 19, 2009

· Tourists sue African resort after safari jeep overturns and spills them into a pride of lions
· Teen calls 911 after parents take away Xbox
· Pot Farm Found Behind Police Station

November 20, 2009

· Florida Friday: Boynton wife tried to kill husband three times
· Florida Friday: Fines for too-tall grass could rise to $1,000 a day in Jupiter
· Florida Friday: South Fla. Man Says He'll Choose Pet Pig Over Town
· Florida Friday: Blowup doll stands in for deployed boyfriend

November 21, 2009

· 'Our unborn baby looks like Michael Jackson!'
· Man arrested after paying teen $31 to spit in his face
· Hospital Sign Burns Out Appropriately

November 22, 2009

· Assailants beat shopper, take off with bread
· Man dies after shooting himself in foot and to handle his injuries alone
· Laptop Steering Wheel Desk and reviews @ Amazon

November 23, 2009

· Sex starved women rape man in church
· Man allegedly drives drunk with grandson on roof

November 24, 2009

· Kan. nurse to be resentenced over nude therapy

November 25, 2009

· Man murders his girlfriend because she refuses to dispose of his previous girlfriend's body.
· Navy SEALs facing criminal charges after capturing one of the most wanted terrorists in Iraq
· 'Doom and Gloom' Bandit Robs Bank, Leaves Crying

November 26, 2009

· Burger King unveils 1000 calorie monster burger
· Atlantis glides home with choked pee nozzle
· Push-Button Bra Turns Bitsy to Bodacious

November 27, 2009

· Unsettled stomach from 265-pound pig to blame for false gas alarm
· Retiree crushed beneath store Christmas tree while shopping

November 28, 2009

· Police consider death by elk in murder case
· University advertises for lap dance research officer
· TV station learns the consequences of posting breaking news tweets on electronic billboard.

November 29, 2009

· The 50 most interesting articles on Wikipedia
· Scores of albinos in hiding after attacks

November 30, 2009

· Austria moves to ban Father Christmas
· Two dogs in Beijing test positive for swine flu
· Prison raffle withdraws 'day out' prize
· Navy flare taken home, detonated by bomb squad