March 1, 2011

· Drunk Driver Crashes into Sober Living Home
· Middle school student suspended for opening door
· Elderly man dies after nursing home fight

March 2, 2011

· New York Bike Law Could Mean Mandatory Licenses and Insurance For the Whole State
· New Hampshire Bill Would Make Some Airport Screening Sexual Assault
· Apple announces redesigned iPad 2: A5 CPU, 2 cameras, ships March 11

March 3, 2011

· Five inducted into Meat Hall of Fame
· '1-strike' pot-test rule for job hopefuls OKd
· 6 Terrifying Ways Crows Are Way Smarter Than You Think
· Is the Pot Bubble Bursting? WeGrow Withers

March 4, 2011

· Tot wanders into street while mom's at parenting class
· Accused Meth Dealer Faces Loss Of His Beloved 18,753 Comic Books
· Ultimate Pirate Ship Bedroom

March 5, 2011

· MajorGeeks Locals: Mortuary school sued for sexual harassment, discrimination against pregnant students
· Day Care: "Gate Blew Open," Six 2-Year-Olds Escape
· Staten Island teen with mayonnaise jar full of marijuana finds he cannot outrun a horse
· Police: Ga. Man Hid Chicken In His Pants
· Cow fart cans offer 'authentic smell of countryside'

March 6, 2011

· African elephant falls in love with a Volkswagen Passat
· The Billionaire Who Is Planning His 125th Birthday
· Squirrel gravy, oyster-flavored beer at southern food festival
· Man steals bras for his jailed girlfriend, winds up getting arrested
· Frog's porn found on magistrate's laptop
· Motorists illegally detained at Florida tolls - for using large bills!

March 7, 2011

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March 8, 2011

· 5 health reasons to not quit coffee
· 6 edible invasive species recipes
· Trash can, condom used in assault
· Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have gun
· Police: Man Shot Girlfriend In Face, Head At Walmart
· R.I.P.: Mike Starr, bassist for Alice in Chains (peace bro)

March 9, 2011

· Cops Posed as a Defense Attorney To Get Suspect To Incriminate Himself
· Police: Teen Hides Pot Under Cop Car
· Oklahoma Leads The Nation For Women Behind Bars
· How the human penis lost its spines
· Most white trash grocery list in history discovered at Walmart.
· RARE: Eva Braun's Private Photos

March 10, 2011

· Mother's fury as son returns home from school with bad report stapled to his shirt
· Odd Wisconsin: Reusing false teeth helped take bite out of husband's death
· Pastor, church members charged with defrauding zoo of nearly $1 million

March 11, 2011

· Doctor admits to smoking 30 joints - a day!
· Woman left on Whistler gondola overnight
· Apple Launches iPad 2
· Dwarf pulling vacuum cleaner with his penis banned by Oxford University
· Cigarette smoke gives away crawl-space perp
· Florida Friday: Patient arrested for trying to sell pot to clinic
· Florida Friday: Quiz laced with sexual innuendo given to high school students
· Florida Friday: Man upset over waiting for slow food at Denny's fires gun
· Florida Friday: Bill would make it a misdemeanor for illegal immigrants to be in Florida
· Florida Friday: Man got into a fight with two officers because he tried to water his neighbor's lawn
· Florida Friday: Florida Beauty Pageant Winner Loses Crown for Immorality

March 12, 2011

· Woman Arrested On 1977 DWI Charge
· Agents Discover Owner's 14-Year-Old Son Working At Miami Strip Club
· Police arrest 'onion torturer' who used vegetable to extract information from drug dealers
· Man's burglary plans hampered after he gets tangled in laundry basket

March 13, 2011

· SPCA and chicken slaughterhouse make for strange neighbors
· Patrons rescued after floating eatery breaks free in Ohio

March 14, 2011

· Boy steals church van, goes to school
· Woman Charged With Tasing Pregnant Motorist in Road Rage Incident

March 15, 2011

· NFL lockout could damage chicken wing industry
· Dolphin jumps onto deck of boat, injures woman
· Russian bomb squad called in to defuse sex toy

March 16, 2011

· Texas Bank Robber Demands Loot, Shows 2 IDs
· Tenant starts fire smoking out squirrels
· Florida dealership says your new car is free if it rains April 8

March 17, 2011

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· That's my baby! Cheeky heron is chased by irate alligator mother after it swipes young from her nest

March 18, 2011

· Arizona man sentenced for stabbing roommate who refused to play vampire
· Judge convicts man from Kansas City for lacing ice cream with drugs to subdue girls
· Police: Ohio man robs bank, is caught on city bus
· Florida Friday: Woman says her 15 foot 'dancing pole' was stripped from Palm City home
· Florida Friday: Republican lawmaker blames 11-year-old victim of alleged gang rape
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· Florida Friday: Sheen Bringing Tour To South Florida

March 19, 2011

· Philly Cops: Elderly Man Stoned to Death for Allegedly Making Unwanted Sexual Advances
· German unemployed banned from lotto
· Driver Leaves Behind Load of Cocaine Worth $1.25 Million
· Cops: Man gets caught in vent during attempted burglary

March 20, 2011

· Deputy: Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks
· Police: Lawnmower rider's weapon was pellet gun
· Drowned in corn: Grain bin deaths hit record

March 21, 2011

· 'Red' rocker Sammy Hagar says abducted by aliens
· Bungling cops raid wrong home... for 41st time
· Former neo-Nazi becomes leftist after sex change
· Bike trail will run through rattlesnake habitat
· Clark County deputy DA arrested on cocaine charge

March 22, 2011

· Caterpillars force down plane at Brisbane Airport
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March 23, 2011

· Woman jumps from balcony to escape chain-saw intruder
· It's drinks-o'clock somewhere
· 13 Illegal Immigrants Arrested in California Wearing U.S. Marine Uniforms
· R.I.P: Silver Screen Legend Elizabeth Taylor Dies at Age 79

March 24, 2011

· First pictures emerge of the Fukushima Fifty
· Moscow hacker who put porn on billboard gets jail term
· Man with a fetish for cow manure caught sexually pleasuring himself while covered in dung.
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· Bellingham burglar gets away with condom machine
· Pete Townshend Regrets Joining the Who
· Cockpit fraud: fears grow over India's fake pilots

March 25, 2011

· Nightclub lists 'boob job' as prize
· Two found living atop elevator shaft
· Former Student Breaks Into High School, Masturbates On Underwear Taken From Boys' Lockers
· Man finds forgotten $9M lotto ticket just in time
· Florida Friday: Florida Senate debates bill today outlawing sex with animals
· Florida Friday: Police: Man Rolls Back Prices On His Own At Walmart
· Florida Friday: Denied a kiss, woman, 92, charged with shooting neighbor's house
· Florida Friday: Pistol-Packin' Beauty Queen Looks to Cash In on Home Invasion Shooting

March 26, 2011

· 2,500 rubber ducks stolen from Ill. police academy
· R.I.P: Geraldine Ferraro dies at 75
· Steven Seagal, Sheriff Raid Valley Home In Tank to Arrest Cockfighter

March 27, 2011

· NY zoo closes reptile house after cobra disappears
· Man named Cokayne arrested for...drug dealing
· A Titanic task: Motor specialists Haynes produce a manual for the 'unsinkable ship'

March 28, 2011

· Whistle-blowing witch grounded by TSA
· The World Map Of Average Breast Cup Size