April 1, 2011

· MajorGeeks Locals: R.I.P. Claire MacDonald Meyer

April 6, 2011

· Man Glued To Toilet Seat in Store Bathroom
· 'Vampire Face-Lift' Uses Blood to Smooth Out Wrinkles
· Police: Ohio Man Charged With Teasing Police Dog

April 7, 2011

· Scientists grow first eyeballs from stem cells

April 8, 2011

· Dad turns down son's music with shotgun
· Slow float to Asia: Six-year-old girl's New Year balloon travels 6,000 miles to LAOS
· Home robbery suspect arrested after T-shirt with his photo found at the scene
· Texans With a Need for Speed Soon May Be Able to Drive 85
· Alleged robber subdued, wrapped in duct tape
· Televangelist Priest Michael Manning Confesses to Affair With Cousin
· State senator wants N.J. students to 'opt in' to paying activity fees following Snooki's Rutgers visit
· Ore. woman faces charges in home circumcision
· Florida Friday: Pasco man, 64, accused of flashing school bus
· Florida Friday: Massive water tank bursts, kills two following tsunami-like wave
· Florida Friday: Judge halts black waiter’s suit against Ritz-Carlton over snub by British guests
· Florida Friday: Liberty Counsel demands Pasco schools distribute fliers for religious clubs
· Florida Friday: Man tries to light hearing aid, apparently confusing it with cigarette, after half bottle of Jager
· Florida Friday: Naked Man Shoots SWAT Robot With AK-47
· Florida Friday: Man uses sword and guitar in tattoo shop attack
· Mom goes to Taiwan, leaves girl, 13, home alone for week: cops

April 9, 2011

· Man drives around drinking with dead friend for 3 days
· Smyrna cop busted with marijuana in his pants
· Nazi bomber comes back from the deep: Dornier shot down in 1940 is found off the coast of Kent

April 10, 2011

· Men in heels march for anti-rape message

April 11, 2011

· Federal judge, 103, still hearing cases

April 12, 2011

· English school principal announces zero tolerance for mismatched socks
· Boy reported missing, found playing video games at Walmart
· Chicago school bans homemade lunches, the latest in national food fight
· Hotel's 'fertility chair' sees seven staff fall pregnant in just 18 months
· Weight Loss Doctor Told Patients Sex With Him Would Burn Calories

April 13, 2011

· The 7 best unintentionally sexual church signs.
· Close encounters of the herd kind
· Burning Pig Ears Cause 'Embarrassing' Fire

April 14, 2011

· Instead of pulling over for police, woman pulls into McDonald’s drive-thru, orders lunch
· Kindergarten teacher has kids oink at student who was messy
· Man ‘Engulfed In Flames’ At San Francisco Porn Shop

April 15, 2011

· Police: 2 Children Locked In Caged Room
· They Gather Secretly at Night, and Then They (Shhh!) Eat
· Saved Google Map Images Show Body Location

April 16, 2011

· Man cooked and ate finger
· Woman Allegedly Kills Cat For Lady Gaga Concert Outfit
· Cockfighting lobby likely to derail bill that would stiffen penalties for crime
· Scottish butcher lays claim to 'the world's hottest sausage'
· Health Officials: Bacteria That Caused Playboy Mansion Outbreak Found in Jacuzzi
· Oregon mailman suspended for defecating in yard on his route
· Hawaii, Other States, Form Caucus to Oppose TSA Intrusions
· 81-year-old man clobbers robbery suspect upside the head with frying pan

April 17, 2011

· Belly dancing sinks NYC woman's disability claim

April 18, 2011

· 6-year-old boy crashes family car, injures one

April 19, 2011

· Wife stripped of settlement money when ex-husband sees belly-dancing blog that proves she can work
· Kohler’s advanced Numi toilet costs $6,400
· Body found in home's laundry bin

April 20, 2011

· Detroit man, 49, accused of sexually assaulting coma patient
· New Brit beer is made with Viagra
· Plane carrying Michelle Obama aborts landing because of controller error
· Sheriff faces meth charge in state ravaged by drug
· Wis. teen going to prom in dress made from Starburst wrappers

April 21, 2011

· Man accused of gouging uncle's eyeballs denied bail
· Real Madrid player Sergio Ramos drops Spanish cup under a bus
· The Latest Enemies of Iran: Dogs and Their Owners

April 22, 2011

· Man says he ejaculated into a co-worker's water bottle because "her lips had touched it."
· Florida Friday: Toddler hanging from Econo Lodge balcony caught by tourist
· Florida Friday: 5-week-old baby severely burned in cooking accident
· Florida Friday: Man poses as first responder, treats patient (MUG)
· Florida Friday: Pastor plans to burn effigy of Prophet of Islam
· Florida Friday: Pines restaurant cook may have been killed over his gold chain, police say
· Florida Friday: Homeless man accused in death of man in wheelchair
· Florida Friday: New turnpike toll system gets right name, but wrong person, plate and car

April 23, 2011

· Police: Teacher Drank at School, Had Bottle of Grey Goose
· Comic book collection worth millions is only thing to survive fire that rips through enthusiast's home

April 24, 2011

· Clown jailed over blackmail
· Church Unanimously Votes To Stop Signing Marriage Licenses Until Gay Marriage Is Legalized
· Teen bitten by shark near Carnarvon, WA, after trying to feed it
· 2-year-old’s piggy bank stolen in apartment robbery

April 25, 2011

· Baby shower brawl leaves two with stab wounds
· LAPD chopper makes emergency landing after being shot
· Hair swiped from West Side beauty supply company

April 26, 2011

· Car flips into pool; Driver to be charged with DUI
· The military's secret plan...to shrink

April 27, 2011

· Nicked for singing Kung Fu Fighting in front of Chinese pair

April 28, 2011

· Apple's iPhone 4 now available in white
· Men arrested for robbing man in recliner

April 29, 2011

· 8-Year-Old Sells Loaded Gun for $3 at Queens School
· Scientists fiind way to wipe out painful memories
· More than 200 people on US terror watch list were able to legally buy firearms in 2010
· Pork that ‘glows,’ beans with cancer chems among China’s latest poison foods
· Florida Friday: Tampa police say woman tried to buy her 80-year-old father a prostitute over Easter weekend
· Florida Friday: Inmate says he sneaked tobacco into jail using his testicles
· Florida Friday: Florida Woman Dalia Dippolito Uses Reality TV Defense in Murder for Hire Trial

April 30, 2011

· Inmate separates guards fighting over food
· 'Oprah' ticket is golden excuse to get off Blagojevich jury
· 30 Funniest Internet Responses to the Playstation Hack